Signs of Spring

Ever have one of those mornings? You know, one of those days when you feel like God is sending you direct messages, whether you asked for them or not? Messages from a half dozen unlikely sources? I have those days more than I care to admit. More than I'd like because they generally seem to come on the heels of a week or two (or month or two) of struggle with some life situation or spiritual concept that I just can't seem to resolve. Or I am too stubborn to grasp. Or I'm just being rebellious and choosing not to put into practice.
It's been one of those mornings.

I've been in a struggle for awhile now. By some calendars it's been half a year. By others it's been a couple of weeks. I'd like to think I'm being oppressed or repressed (some might say possessed.) Or that I'm a victim of circumstance or a victim of another's sin or craziness, or meanness. I've been wallowing in self-pity, self-recrimination and self-justification. (Don't tell me I'm the only one sensing a theme here.) I'm getting sick of it.

Then this morning, after Scotte and I finished our morning Bible reading I brought up Facebook and found a World Magazine link to a new column by Andrée Seu. The column, Sustaining, was linked into my FB page with this blurb:  "I had read once in a book by the counselor Jay Adams that our problem is often not that we don’t know what to do but that we don’t keep doing it long enough. We don’t sustain things." I was hooked. Ms. Seu writes about "some of the factors that I think make me slip from the fundamentals of abiding in Christ, like rejoicing." Two of the factors she mentioned really rang true for me: "I allow what’s true and what’s important to get hazy in my mind"; and, "I get trapped in fears of the future or regrets of the past." I've allowed these and other factors to let me forget that rejoicing is a choice, and must be made on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. And that rejoicing feels good.


But that wasn't enough. Naturally. When God starts in on me, He usually hits me with it all at once.
I'm watching GMA with my Cheerios® breakfast (lowers your cholesterol, right?) and I see an interview with Laura Munson, whose book, This Is Not the Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness, details her road of peace in spite of a husband who had decided he wanted out of their marriage. In the end, her marriage is healed, but it isn't what you think it is, because Ms. Munson's story is a personal journey of discovering the difference between Wanting and Creating. It was a counselor who told her, "It's when you stop wanting things outside of your control that you'll be happy." Isn't this the essence of ". . . the birds of the air" and the "the lilies of the field . . . "? (Matt. 6:25-29) "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow [or today, or yesterday, or the what ifs, or the what might have beens. . . .] for tomorrow [et.al.] will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matt. 6:33, 34) The message for me is one of accepting what is, and moving on. The struggles I find myself in usually have to do with 'what ifs' and 'what might have beens'.


And if these two events weren't enough, Ms. Munson's interview was followed by another writer, Suzy Welch, whose book, 10-10-10, teaches about decision-making using a method that helps you to clarify and prioritize your major and minor life decisions based on your own value system. In her book, Ms. Welch talks about using the thought process, "What will this mean 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years from now?" This is her succinct way of saying, right now, in the foreseeable future, and in the distant future. By defining your own value system and using it as a framework for your decision-making, you are making decisions in a way that serves your purpose in life. You are creating your life, not just wanting it to be different or waiting for life to untangle itself or to quit being unfair. It removes the emotionalism from your decisions, much the same as Ms. Munson's philosophy of no longer blaming circumstances (or other people) for your happiness, knocks out the reactionary behaviors that lead to your own suffering. 


So where does this leave me today? I'm aware that sometimes I see connections where others don't. I know that some may see these three events as entirely disconnected, even contradictory. It's enough for me that I don't. I can see how each of these writers (women, all) is connected in some way to how I've let myself get sucked into a season of woes instead of a season of prayer and joy.


I've been wallowing in self-pity long enough. Time to get on with my life, and let go of circumstances that are outside of my control. Time to refine my value system and begin making decisions based on that system. Time to give up the anger, the resentment and the emotional reactions. Time to live rejoicing. Everyday. 

"Rejoice in the Lord, always. Again I will say rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:4-7)